Decide!

A, with the condoms :P
Nah try all of the keys we currently own, and if notthe knife.

None of the keys work!

You do get some progress with the knife, but it does not unlock the lock. Perhaps it would work in conjunction with something else?

Inventory Check

Crowbar
"House" Key
"Chest" Key
Unmarked Key
Average-Sized Mallet
Butcher Knife
Radio Parts
Rope
Water Bottle
Cold Medicine
Bandages
Alarm Clock
Photograph of your Grandfather
Photograph of your Father
Riddle Paper #1 (Spill, Fill)
Riddle Paper #2 (Change to 2)
Riddle Paper #3 (Past Dilutes)
Map

Weapons
M1 Rifle - 5 Rounds (1 Magazine)
Sidearm - 20 Rounds (2 Magazines)

A. Attempt to open hatch.
B. Return to grass patch.

Wrap the knife with bandages, and attempt to open the hatch.

Congratulations. You are retarded. (you just opened a lock earlier without the usage of a key).

You take off the bandages when you realize it does nothing.

A. Attempt to open hatch.
B. Return to grass patch.

Open with crowbar and mallet

The hatch opens! You feel like an idiot for not doing the same thing as last time!

Down the hatch (forgive the pun) you can see a ladder leading into a dark abyss.

A. Climb down ladder.
B. Return to grass patch.

A

You climb down the ladder out of nostalgia.

You feel the floor, and step off the ladder. You hear a quiet rustle throughout the room.

A. Look around for a light switch of some sort.
B. Ready a weapon (say which).
C. Climb back up.

:( it's a monster isn't it?

*shrug* maybe it's a convenient bowl of soup and kettle of tea. Or a hallucination.

Is it our grandfather who survived the stabbing and some how got into here?

I don't think I could work zombies into this.

You somehow got us all collectively to rob and kill our grandfather with only the knowledge of him living in the house we're looting.

I'm going to look for a light switch.

(in my defence, you did say that we wrecked the crowbar)

You try to look around for a light switch, and you hear a rattle.

A. Pull the chain.
B. Ready a weapon.
C. Climb back up.

A

You pull the chain with a loud, audible rattle.
The light seeps into the room all at once....
A humanoid figure lunges at you and tackles you to the ground! You were not prepared for that at all!

A. Attempt to pin him to the ground.
B. Try to pull out a weapon.
C. Try your best to push him off of you.

a.