Dear Diary,

Today I woke up to my dog licking my face. I keep telling the door guards that Wing needs to stay out of my room until I wake up. Somebody is going to a concentration camp...
While at a cabinet meeting today, one of my generals, Yong Jong-Rig gave me a beautiful flower. I don't have the heart to tell him in allergic to flowers. However, his sincerity and admiration forced me to accept the flower. I wish some people were more respectful to me like Wing and Jong-Rig.
At dinner, I was served 12 baked patatos and 5 bowls of soup plus some bread and cake. I had the cook immediately sent to a concentration camp for attempting to starve me.

Love,
Supreme Leader <3

Entry#1

Edited 7/21/2015 22:13:26

You're a very high quality troll. :)

Much better than that European Capitalists Kills McDonalds, Tyrion Lannister, Godfrey Elfwick.

I don't really see them as a troll other than playing the "Supreme leader" role which might annoy.

Been pretty funny so far.

At this point I'd say Gen. NumbNuts is far too amusing to be insulted with the title of troll.

Yeah, he's not really a troll, but he is making useless - albeit comical - posts that are cluttering up the place.

This man is way better than any of our other trolls.

Well,since when am I a troll?
However...It gets annoying if trolls get overwhelmed by foreigners like this fat &
childish supreme leader of North Korea....I will therefore go to concentrationcamp anytime soon for this insult of the supreme leader,but first I have to enjoy live for another 94 years.(I am 17,btw).
Whatsoever,
this super secret *cough,cough*diary made my day ;)
I'd like to admit-before I get executed-you should stay like you are,supreme leader,we all love you ♥!
xoxo
Yours sincerely,the Communist Duke aka the European Capitalist

My dear supporters, you all cannot possibly fathom the joy I've received upon hearing all of your kind words. It warms my heart knowing my goal of bringing laughter and amusement into this cruel and merciless world is being achieved. I seek not to annoy the living shit out of you all but to sooth the tiresome days you endure.

Your Faithful companion,
Kimmy Un
<3

Dear Diary,

I had a weird dream last night. I was finally able to acquire a nuke and had launched it at the USA. But the warhead flew over Japan than crashed into the ocean. Then, Godzilla came out of the Pacific holding an American flag. I knew I was doomed.

I saw somebody wearing jeans today. I didn't take kindly to that because I love jeans. The turd didn't even consider to invite me on his jean walk? He disappeared mysteriously...

Before going to bed, Yong Jong-Rid gave me another flower. I know he is a loyal follower of the Supreme but I not sure what his deal with these flowers is.

Wing woke me up at 3am. He was licking my feet. *Sigh* another door guard off to the camps.

Love,
Supreme Leader <3
Entry#2

Edited 7/22/2015 15:06:27

hope you´ll have enough door guards for Wing ;)
And I believe,that jong-Rid is gay....somehow...
You should hang him-maybe if you´ve a place right above the fireside in your living
room for his head.

For the door guards too.

Dear Diary,

Today I got a phone call from mister popular, Barack Obama. This guy kept telling me over and over how I should be a more linent leader, and North Korea should become a true democracy, yaddy yaddy yadda...I think its funny how big ears thinks he knows what's best for my nation when he can't even build a better image for his own nation.

Wing crapped on my imported Persian rug. I don't know what that dog ate but the rug is definitely ruined.

I saw Yong Jong-Rig walking in the park today. He was talking to another general, Kim Jong Chol. For whatever reason Jong-Rig gave Jong Chol a flower. I don't know what's up but Im supposed to be the one who gets the flowers...

Love,
Supreme Leader<3
Entry#3

I've known it!-Jong plans a coup d'etat!-Or he is gay!-No matter what,you have to get rid of him before he does anything bad towards you.
And I believe,that another door guard
should be send to concentration camp for ruining your rug by letting Wing in.
And just ignore Obama,he tells BS.
I am your biggest fan!-Could I get an autograph?-PLEASE!

Dear Diary,

I had a delicious baked potato today. It was perfect. Oven cooked with sea salt, glazed with the creamiest butter. Topped with freshly copped chives. I haven't had such a succulent thing since yesterday.

Today wing Jumped out of a window. He fell 3 stories but miraculously landed like a cat. Part of me wishes that dog had died for ruining my favorite rug...

I confronted Jong-Rig about his walk with Jong Chol. Jong-Rig looked a bit flushed about the matter but I demanded an answer. I asked why Jong Chol got a flower that day instead of me. Apparently Jong-Rig respects more than one person...On any account i should be the only one who gets flowers here. I sent Jong Chol to a concentration camp.

On that note I'd like to advertise an open position in my military.

Love,
Supreme Leader <3
Entry #4

I'm always willing to join in a good battle

I'm no commander, but I AM a historian... I can do tactics, but not so much command.

Dear Diary,

Today I was supposed go spectate the glorious launch of our newest nuke. I don't know what I hope to gain watching these tests. Not gonna lie though, this new nuke did fly higher than the last one.

I got a bouquet of flowers today. Jong-Rig's name was on a card. Im glad my little pep talk with him worked out splendidly.

Seems I've found a new general to fill Jong Chol's spot. This new guy isn't from North Korea which makes this whole situation strange for me. Last time I let outsiders in, they tried to kill me with my own tank. Anyway my newest general is Buddyboyd. Kind of a strange name if you ask me.

Love,
Supreme Leader <3
Entry#5

Yes, I was accepted as general for the Supreme Leader!

Congrats

Hilarious and original.

No sarcasm.