What's big and red and bad for your teeth?
-A brick

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
-They're really good at it

What looks like parrot but is orange?
-carrot

What's another joke?
-This thread

What should you say to cheesy jokes?
-cut the cheese

Why are cheesy jokes the best?
-Because cheese you idiot

Numbnuts, shut up
-No

what's white and if it falls from a tree it can kill you?
a plane

What's big and round and can crush you?
-A log rolling down a hill

why did the girl drop her ice-cream?
she was on fire

Edited 8/13/2015 23:52:32

Why did sally fall off the swing?
-she had no arms

Knock, knock
Whose there?
Not sally

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.

what's pink and screams and screams and screams?
a skinned baby in a bucket of salt.

What's red and green and goes really fast?
-A frog in a blender

Beethoven is decomposing.

Too bad, I like his music. :3

a black man walks into a bar....you think he would of seen it coming.

Why did the cactus cross the road?

It was stuck to the chicken's back.

If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you'll probably have to barium.

What do you call an alligator in a vest?
-an investigator

why did the baby fall over?
BECAUSE I STABBED IT IN THE CHEST

Why can't lolicon make a good cheesy joke?
-Because it hasn't been aged.


<3 Lolicon love :)

Edited 8/13/2015 00:34:31

my friend threw sodium chloride at me today
it was as-salt

i like my girls the way i like my wine
12 years old and locked in the cellar

How did you ever become a zombie?
-I like dead things *wink, wink*

Wine is older than that, generally, if you're keeping it in the cellar. I don't have experience with this, but I'm guessing 25+ years old?

Actually most wine is released within 2 years of creation.