"A country living in complete weirdness and unwashed weasels" or that's what they say.

Lately I've been mildly insulted with anti-Belgian jokes primarily coming from CORP members. As I'm a proud Belgian I cannot watch this anymore. To prevent Empire of Kilos to make another one, I've made this thread.
Here we'll make fun of every aspect of America. Politically,socially,abstract,absurd,... it doesn't matter if it's just mocks with the USA.


I hope Infection doesn't get really deep into this or otherways I'll have to create a thread specially devoted to make fun of Belarus. A land built by potatoes.


Back to the subject. Embrace yourself for...

AMERICA

"The best country in the world!"

~ Nobody

"One dog shit to rule them all!"

~ George W. Bush


America: 1 great lie?
Long time we've been exposed to the America. The greatest conspiracy of alltime. It constitutes the sole part of the continent of America that is cared about. It is known mainly for its greasy food. In fact, a few years ago during the reign of Emperor Bush, several laws were passed that made the national religion hamburgers and ignorance. Although housing millions of humanoids of gargantuan size and girth, only 2% of the American population have a visa and these people are either actual legal Mexicans or deranged scientists looking for the lost city of Stupidville.

America has a hobby to invade countries nobody cares about and just because they don't like them. Recently (some 2 dog years ago) few plans have been revealed that the USA is going to invade Canada within the next 5 years. These actions will take place just after the annexation of Alaska by Canada during the Wilkins-Crocket treaty.



Overall ain't democracy great?

America democratic or that's what they claim. The harsh world is different.



Edited 12/5/2015 17:50:26

Good call if there's anything that Unites Europeans it's taking the piss out of the states....

So what the next war your going to lose against farmers?

Not just Europeans. And it's not so much a 'uniting' as it is merely a shared understanding of the real world, outside of the US populace's reality-bubble mind-filter.

Fun fact I like to bring up whenever Americans try to say the US is better than Canada: We burnt down their White House.

PS: When I 'make fun of' the US, it's not to put down Americans, it's to wake them up. It's not that I dislike the American ideals. It's just that I wish the country would actually live up to them more often. Their country could be so much better, it's such a shame, IMO. And it's not like this doesn't have consequences for the rest of the world, either. Climate Change, war, social inequality, crime/violence, etc. affect everybody directly or indirectly. There are lots of good things about the US; just unfortunately not nearly as many as there could be.

PPS: And Belgium rocks. Anyone who doubts that has surely never been there. The beer pubs will blow your mind!!!

Edited 12/5/2015 18:20:01

Belgian, you shouldn't feel offended. People make jokes about Scotland all the time, yet I'm not actually offended by it. That's not even just me. People make "polan can not into relevance", and all that shit to Death, and virtually nobody is untouched as far as friendly jokes go. Stop being a baby about it.

Never heard of sarcasm? Ox never take my humour seriously. That's the worst thing you ever can do. These are all jokes that have my sense of humour in it. Just get over it. I wrote this in a pub by the way. And uhh.. that can explain a lot.

Edited 12/5/2015 18:45:05

I don't think he's actually offended, I think he's taking the ...

... so to speak.

Edited 12/5/2015 18:42:18

Let's pretend that I never saw your comment wct.

Edited 12/5/2015 19:01:47

It's art! It's Belgian! It's from Wikipedia! It's a good pun! Hey, get your mind out of the gutter!

Britain burned down the white house, not canada :O

Canada doesn't ever do that much, They're literally just Canada. No I mean Literally, they're literally just canada.

Don't make fun of America! We're #1 in the world for mass shootings!

#shotsfired

Edited 12/5/2015 19:35:52

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zA0X28cfEA

America:
We sadly have Donald Trump.

"Fun fact I like to bring up whenever Americans try to say the US is better than Canada: We burnt down their White House."

That happened over two hundred years ago and was done by British troops after it was already abandoned, if you brought that up to me I would laugh.

Britain burned down the white house, not canada :O

The kinds of Americans who try to boast that the US is better than Canada usually don't know the difference, so the comeback still works pretty much every time. ;-P

Fun fact:

...


America
America

America, Fuck Yeah!
Comin' again to save the motherfuckin' day, Yeah

America, Fuck Yeah!
Freedom is the only way, Yeah

Terrorists, your game is through
'cause now you have ta answer to

America, Fuck yeah!
So lick my butt and suck on my balls

America, Fuck Yeah!
Whatcha' gonna do when we come for you now

It's the dream that we all share
It's the hope for tomorrow
(Fuck Yeah!)

McDonald's (Fuck Yeah!)
Wal-Mart (Fuck Yeah!)
The Gap (Fuck Yeah!)
Baseball (Fuck Yeah!)
The NFL (Fuck Yeah!)
Rock N' Roll (Fuck Yeah!)
The Internet (Fuck Yeah!)
Slavery (Fuck Yeah!)

Fuck Yeah!

Starbucks (Fuck Yeah!)
Disneyworld (Fuck Yeah!)
Porno (Fuck Yeah!)
Valium (Fuck Yeah!)
Reeboks (Fuck Yeah!)
Fake Tits (Fuck Yeah!)
Sushi (Fuck Yeah!)
Taco Bell (Fuck Yeah!)
Rodeos (Fuck Yeah!)
Bed, Bath and Beyond (Fuck yeah..Fuck Yeah)

Liberty (Fuck Yeah!)
Wax Lips (Fuck Yeah!)
The Alamo (Fuck Yeah!)
Band-aids (Fuck Yeah!)
Las Vegas (Fuck Yeah!)
Christmas (Fuck Yeah!)
Immigrants (Fuck Yeah!)
Popeyes (Fuck Yeah!)
Democrats (Fuck Yeah!)
Republicans (..Fuck Yeah..Fuck Yeah)
Sportsmanship (...)
Books (....)

Read more: Trey Parker - America, Fuck Yeah Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Hey at least we've lasted 239 years as a nation...I think that's way longer than what King George III was betting on :)

Most of the people in the United States is FAT!!
Hahahahahahahahahaha

^ 38% fyi, according to the BMI.

Fun fact I like to bring up whenever Americans try to say the US is better than Canada: We burnt down their White House.

The British Empire managed to burn down an abandoned building, before losing lives to a storm. Congratulations.

Back to the topic, the only thing that is more abundant than the amount of shit we have caused in the Middle East is the amount of Starbucks and McDonald's we have, as well as the amount of our own oil reserves we refuse to tap into.