any have a good jokes feel free to tell us about share happiness hhh

A German, a Mexican, and an American are on a plane that is falling out of the sky. They each have to throw one thing out so they do not fall to their deaths. The German has a keg of beer. He thinks, 'We have too many of these' and he throws the keg of beer out. The Mexican has a lawnmower. He thinks to himself 'We have too many of these' and he throws the lawnmower out. The American has a 12 gauge shotgun. He thinks, 'We have too many of these' and he throws the Mexican out.

whats big and black?

A nuclear submarine.

lol this funny well done

you're welcome

knock knock

fuck off, I'm not decent

Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin and Ion Iliescu are invited to see an airplane built entirely out of gold. They are told that they can enter it and look around for as long as they like, but they can't take anything. Clinton goes first, stays five minutes, upon his exit the metal detector blares; Clinton had taken a screw and a nail with him. Yeltsin goes second, stays five minutes, upon his exit the metal detector blares again; Yeltsin had stolen a fistful of screws. Finally, Iliescu enters the plane, and stays there five minutes. And another five minutes. And another... Suddenly, the plane takes off.

^
How could an airplane made out of gold even take off?? That makes no sense.

Edited 2/4/2016 15:41:22

"That's where most of Madeleine's abuse happened" I said to my friend as I pointed to my bed.

Wouldn't the plane fall apart with that many screws gone?

the idea is not how the plane flew or not.After all, it's a joke

I think Cliton would have tried to take the golden hooker from that golden mile high sky club.

another one

A man walks into his doctor's office and puts a note on the table for the doctor to read. It said, "I can't talk! Help me!"

The doctor nodded sagely, and instructed the man to put his thumb on the table. The man thinks to himself that his thumb has nothing to do with his inability to talk, but he does as the doctor ordered.

The doctor quickly picked up a big book and whacks the man's thumb with it as hard as he could.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" the man yelled.

"Good, good," the doctor said. "Come back tomorrow and we'll work on the 'B'."

Hopefully the man will stop coming before he gets the D.

==Political Jokes=

Q: Why should Creationism be taught in schools?
A: Because it leaves less time to teach Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer

Q: What do Republicans and porn stars have in common?
A: They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.

Q: How do you fight the war on terror?
A: By belittling our long-time allies, then demanding their cooperation and money

Q: Why is it bad when the Republicans control the House, the Senate, Supreme Court, the White House?
A: Because they only have themselves to blame

Q: Is lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die an impeachable offense?
A: Nooooo!!!!.....But lying about an extramarital affair is!

Q: What does "Standing Tall for America" mean?
A: Firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

Q: There is a Red House on the right and blue house on the left where is the White House?
A: in Washington DC

Q: How do you know you're a Democrat?
A1: You think poverty can be abolished.
A2: You admire the Swedish welfare system
A3: After looking at your pay stub you can still say, "America is undertaxed."

Member of Clinton's Cabinet: "Hurry up Mr. Clinton, we are about to have a huge meeting on foreign policy with hundreds of world leaders!"
Clinton: "Hold on a second, let me finish having sex with someone whose not my wife"

Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?
Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!

Jeb Bush: "My brother kept us safe".
Donald Trump: "Yeah, from 9/11, Katrina, the Great Recession, and thousands of amputations from IEDs after illegally invading Iraq without an exit strategy."

Donald Trump doesn't believe in gay marriage, he believes marriage is about a rich guy marrying a much younger model.

Trump hates illegals, Carson hates Muslims, Fiorina hates women, Huckabee hates gays, and Jeb hates questions about his idiot brother.

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/politicaljokes

sound like Radio Yerevan .

A priest, rabbi and inam are on a liferaft with room for two. The priest says "If it is His will to die, then die I shall, and lets go. The rabbi promptly shoves the inam off and gets some extra sleeping room.

Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.