Right, you fukn guys, im sick of this.
i've been seeing lots and lots and lots of threads on this "America election shit". and this American election I see is not until fucking November 8th!
That's like 14 months from, now, right?
Something that's WAAAAAY more pressing, is the
SCOTTISH ELECTION.
This shit is right now modern, like. It's happening in May 5th, right?
So, here is some basic analysis to what you need to understand about my... fucking hell ill get on with it
The Scottish Political Party System & ShitRight now. There are 129 seats in the Scottish parliament,
like? That means a party's got tae get at least 65 (done the maths for ye, ye fuckin' american) seats, for it to get power. So, what parties will we be seeing this time 'round?
Scottish National PartyAlright, it's no secret that this party will sweep the floor. Scotland is effectively a 1 party system at this point, and for good reason. There are hardly any fucking right-wing voters in Scotland, as proven by the last general election, so we all want a left-of-centre nationalistic government to best represent us.
Aside from that, we must figure out: How much will they win by? Last time SNP won with 64 seats when there were 128 seats total. Now, it'll be harder! But, the party has got stronger as well. My prediction is something like this:
http://i.imgur.com/GVeaUDA.pngRight, as you can see, there will be a Tory belt in the south, much like the Bible-basher belt, in America.
Above that, there'll be the remains of Labour, trying to hold onto some land in the central belt. They'll get the outskirts of Edinburgh, but not Edinburgh proper. They'll lose all holdings in the capital city, so Glasgow will be their last stand. But even in Glasgow, they'll lose constituencies as well. SNP will get most of the seats, and Lib Dem are still in exile in Orkney-Shetland.
Which moves me onto:
Scottish Labour PartyAlright, nobody even likes them anyway. They did nothing; they're a secret trick made by the English to make us think that we're voting for the "Scottish" Labour Party, but what actually happened was that English folk were being voted in, and shit, so they did nothing to glorious Scotland. This is no longer a 2 party battle; the Labours have fallen, and it is time for SNP!
Scottish Conservative & Unionist PartyThey'll lose 1 seat, gain 1 seat. Everything they will have will be the English immigrants and a few hillbilly Southern Uplands Scots evangelical shit voting for them. Was that UNIONIST I heard? Shit!
Lib Dems and shit like that xDNobody even likes them other than those Norwegian Orkney & Shetland living people lel
GreensLOL! They'll lose everything they ever had. The only votes they get are the "fuck the system" votes, in Scotland and England.
UKIPHaha, funny. Conservatives are lucky they get votes, let alone UKIP! They are called a "major" party, here. WHAT? Major? xDDDDD
Scottish Socialist Party / Scottish Trade Unionist-SocialistsBoth these parties are cool. More people would vote for them if they were major. Sadly, they won't get any seats.
Scottish Christian PartyLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. Relm would vote for these guys if he lived in Scotland!
Pirate Party UKAAAARRRRRRRR!!
The JacobitesThey still exist, after all these years. I'd have fought with them if I lived in the 1600s, but sadly they have lived on, and they are now in the right of the spectrum.
Scottish Democratic AllianceThese guys are basically the SNP, but Right of centre, instead of left-of-centre. I'd rather not.
Plus, they're weak AF. When have you ever heard of them before? Exactly!
BNPThese guys exist in Scotland? Lol, have fun guys. Official unionists xD
CommunistsNah, just nah.
Christian Peoples AllianceThis is a fucking splinter-group of the Scottish Christian Party... for fucks sake, man, how much can you splinter!
Britain First / A Better BritainYou English guys get out of Scotland you fuckers.
National FrontThis is a party just like Front Nationale, but in the UK. Basically allies, but these guys are so small and weak.
East Dunbartonshire Independence AllianceI guess you can vote for these guys if you think East Dunbartonshire should get independence. Map:
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/cf/East_Dunbartonshire_council.PNG/480px-East_Dunbartonshire_council.PNGThe Wind WatchersThese people have downs syndrome
Scottish Unionist PartyLool, fat chance, mate.
Scotland Against Crooked LawyersYup, burn them at the stake!
Scottish Senior Citizens Unity PartyIf you're a senior citizen!
Pride In Paisley PartyAnother independence movement within Scotland, for this one town:
http://www.worldatlas.com/img/locator/city/080/77984-paisley-locator-map.jpgPublican PartyThese guys don't like smoking. That's all.
Independent Green VoiceSplinter group of the greens... weird people, they are.
Nine Per Cent Growth PartyThese guys are on drugs, mate. They got 80 votes last time. Let's break triple digits this time!
Pensioners PartyI guess these guys like old people.
Free Scotland Party / Scottish Independence PartySplinter groups of the SNP.
NO2EUThey hate the EU, but they are left wing. What votes are you gonnae get there, you arseholes?
Anyway, now you know everything you need to know about all the parties that will be running in various constituencies across Scotland in the next election!
Edited 2/17/2016 22:22:48
