Luckily, we aren't British.
We will get our independence, while the rest of you Brits burn.
Seriously, David Cameron looks like a cute little puppy dog compared to the 4 choices for his successor.
Boris Johnson right now leads at odds 4-7. He belongs in the UKIP party, I have no clue what he's doing in Tories even.
Ugh, what an idiot. Next, George Osborne. He used to be at odds 2-1, but now he's at 4-1, after his new terrible budget, and the fact he made Iain Duncan Smith, one of the more moderate Tories, resign. And of course, Duncan, being a moderate Tory: is Scottish. But hey, at least Osborne likes the EU.
"We don't care about the poor, because they don't vote for us" - Osborne
Next up, at odds something like 6-1 there's Michael Gove. Oh, this is just pick your poison, isn't it? Another Eurosceptic, and he wants to privatise the NHS. What a dick.
And finally, Theresa May. This woman is famous for nothing other than her cleavage and her shoes. Odds 7-1 or 8-1 or something. She won't win. She likes the EU, but she's more drunk than most Scots and Belgians: that is scary.
And of course, you could always vote Corbyn, but he's a socialist. Of course, I like that, but he's not going to win any majority vote. His only hope is teaming up in a coalition government with the SNP, but I fear that in 2020 the Tories will win again, no matter which one of these boneheads becomes the candidate.
You could always vote Green, but then people will just laugh at you.
This is why Scotland wants to leave the UK