Day 1: welcome in Switzerland - stuck in Godthardtunnel

Day 2: still stuck in traffic. Radio recieves weird signals and authoritarian messages that tell you to drive from a distance of 150m between you and your pal, 250m between you and a stranger and 2km between you and a car of drunk Italians.

Day 3: Traffic in Gotthardtunnel reaches Zürich. Still no pub can be found.

Day 4: The colours turned green. 2 Belgians are now legal to terrorise the Italian parts of Suisse.

Night 4: Arrived in Lombardia. No pub can be found. Region looks rich,flat and boring just like my home country.

Day 5: Visit Brescia by car to go by train to Sulzano then go by foot to Monte Isola only to miss our bus and wait 5 hours longer. Later it was revealed all this was part of an art exposition called waiting and walking for ages but nicknamed Floating Piers to hide the jam-packed effect. Thanks Christo and Jeanne-Claude!

Day 6: Rush for cheap wine to get drunk. They selled wine for like 1 euro a bottle. I found heaven. No pub could be found. Please forget what I said. Puked in a trash can instead.

Day 7: Trip to Milano! Wandering around in all the streets of Milan only to realise it's all shopping. Went immediately home afterwards. While driving saw some hungry kittens along the road. I did not stop for them. 1 hour later my eyes saw 3 or 4 whores along the street. I can't remember if I stopped for them or not.

Day 8: Suffred from hangover. Don't know why. Still , no pub could be found.

Day 9: no pubs! Only pizzeria's and bars! A nightmare. This forced me to drink natural water. Disgusting!

Day 10: I'm dreaming of home... I miss my local pub, my beer!

No one wants to be in Italy. Not even Italians. Not even Italian nationalists, they just want to invade other places so they don't have to be in Italy.

You went to Italy and actually expected a drink rather than wine? No surprise you got disappointed.

Protip: if you need a direction to go drunk, it's not south; it's east.

OR he can go west and hit the Wall of Crushed Culinary Dreams (the UK).

Well at least you're not in Scotland, or the 40 degree Celsius hell that is Texas in summer.

!

Well at least you're not in Scotland, or the 40 degree Celsius hell that is Texas in summer.

"Celsius"

*Claps* I am impressed.

or 100 degree Fahrenheit(37.7 Celsius) Florida...

Italy still exists?

edit: It was near 37.7 C in Pennsylvania. F*CKING PENNSYLVANIA! And we STILL didn't get a lot of sun! At least Florida has beaches. The only beach PA has is grody-ass Erie beach.

Edited 7/8/2016 03:47:44

I live in the Interdimensional void. It's -210 C here.

i want to go to italy to spread islam and kill people that don't want to convert
in fact i might just use an italian proxy
allahu akbar

Sees people talking about beaches. Hates beaches.

Sees no one talking about wine tourism. Loves wine.

It's official. I'm dissapointed in this community.