During the time of Father John's ministries, a number of his followers rejected the sweet, stretchy love of Cheesus.
They left him and formed a heretic group called the Felidae*. They worshipped alien beings and brought burnt offerings without enough oregano on them. Cheesus was furious.
And this Cheesus spoke to Father John, saying "Why have you allowed some of my followers to leave? Can a man be satisfied in half his pizza was taken away? You shall warn the Felidae of my power, and give them the chance to repent and accept my love, which is as powerful as Viex Lille."
And so Father John spoke with the Felidae, who laughed at his words and hissed at him. "Behold, heathens! If you wish to be struck down, then let Cheesus do so!" John yelled, and the Lord answered his prayer.

The Lord rained Alt-Righters upon the Felidae camp, and all of their families. The site was scorched from so many flame wars it became the Mount of Cucks. A church to the Lord and Flavor sits atop the Mount, and all those who are to die virgins can repent, and accept the gooey sweet love of Cheesus.

"Can a man be satisfied if half his pizza is taken away?"

I loled, upvoted.

Wow, thanks!

Upvoted gj man

And remember,CORP vs Nazis at 7 ;)

Edited 9/14/2016 20:58:21