Dude I felt shitty in the process of doing what I did and felt even shittier from the end result.
if you felt shitty why did you continue doing it?
you felt shitty afterwards because you got caught, not for doing it.
past tense is not the correct tense that you should be feeling it btw.
bad actions don't get swept under the rug with an "omg i got caught and got banned, my bad!", they have consequences, you don't get to come back and ask for help as if nothing ever happened.