Hi, mates. I've been tasked with making a public report on the state of Off-topic forum on WL - mainly a census and analyse. Who gave me this job? Well, a few monthes ago, I was in Eritrea - in Asmara, its headburgh. And you know, the chairman of Eritrea, named Isaias Afwerki, he played Warlight, which was acutally the grounds that I was called to come to Eritrea in the first place. Now, for those who don't know, Eritrea is kind of an oppressive dictatorship with a very shitty human rights record and press freedom worse than North Korea, selon Reporters Without Borders. Paugers even said that if it wasn't ruled by a negro, then it would be a pretty good state.
But anyhow, so he's a big WL player, he's very well-known actually - you'll know the username: "Master of the Dead" (sorry for giving out your real name MoTD but they can just look it up anyway so I mean) (he's on vacation on America now so that's why there's an USA flag). And he ordered that I do it, but wanted to talk face-to-face, so I went to Asmara. And, uh, we talked. We talked about how America was just spewing propganda about his great country, and how ruling a country was like playing WL diplomacy - if you're a small country like Eritrea, you're not going anywhere. We talked about faith, we talked about Warlight templates, we talked about science, and we got high.
want to see proof that
*TBest is Fizzer's brother?!?
*a hijack is coming to CORP soon?!?
*Жұқтыру is not my real username, you're just misreading it?!?
Then I flew back and started on this. Without further ado:
https://snag.gy/3JGZQR.jpg (players)
First, let's talk about players, and some key findings there.
* TABBY is the ANTICHRIST, and FELIDAE is HELL (not that we needed statistic proof though)
* TBest, despite being a moderator, is one of the top trolls on the website - even Pulsey, who is part of clan "Maximus Troll" is less trolly. Fizzer and TBest are both atheists and both speak English - I think they come from the same family.
Nepotism?!?* Hostile is JESUS, and MODUS OPERANDI is the most prestigious clan of them all.
* Major General Smedley Butler is has the most posts out of those that have more than 50% not downvoted rating.
* GeneralPE leads a very very sad life (he said Donald Trump winning was the best day of his life - like him or not, it's a very very sad life tshhhh)
https://snag.gy/0ZiSep.jpg (clans)
* Warlight is in its entirety a community, yet folk like FK really bring down what is the meaning of a clan - what unyokes Poon Squad from DARKLORDS? What makes AHOL better than FELIDAE? Good OT posts.
* Semicedevine really does bring Lynx prestige down but ZeroBlindDragon brings it back up, it's a good mix (of gay sexuality and gay cancer templates).
* Smedley tries to make POLANDBALL decent, but Prince of Felidia and DomCobb bring it down. Keep up the work MGSB!
* Von Jewburg and DerWyyy are better posters than ,,autist'', onoma. Saddly, ,,autist'' has managership of CORP, and it's shown here that he's a top troll, so quick
HIJACK CORP before it loses all it's prestige under dictatorship of the OX! Cm'on SEMICEDEVINE!
* A.O.E. is awful, but it's not a surprise since this is the clan that has both GeneralPE and Karl - both suspended btw by Fizzer's f-ing ATHEIST OPPRESSION! AAAH! Suspending monotheists like us, how terrible.
Now, the next thing we're going to be looking at is pretty serious. While I was doing these first two surveys, I started to see some unsettling trends. The one Pole in OT was getting downvoted HARD. Her threads were getting deleted - so this goes beyond social, this goes into the administrative bias as well. Now, I would just think that this is all coincidence, but then I did the clan survey. And what did I found? POLANDBALL clan was also getting downvoted. This is too much to be a coincidence, I thought. And I told this to my good friend, Master of the Dead over a Skype call, and he fainted. So I headed over to Asmara as fast I could, where me and my teammate could talk face-to-face about the evils facing Warlight. Racism.
So first, what we did was we looked at a previous report of racism. KENTUCKY. (
https://www.warlight.net/Forum/89646-antiblackness-warlight-community)
What we read was deeply, deeply unsettling, but we came to the same conclusion. Warlight had to end. And so, we talked to the Russian Federation. Why did we email Russia? Good frain. In Russia, there's nepotism like on WL and so what ends up happening is Vladimir Pootin is my far-off failure of a cousin, so I could be a nepotist. So here's what I tweeted.
https://snag.gy/8fISqu.jpgHe didn't reply. Or rather, he did but in a waaay too public way.
https://snag.gy/od2TnL.jpgSo we weren't successful in that way and I had to flee back to Eritrea until they gave up looking for me. I dominate at hide-and-seek btw.
Anyhow, so our letter to the Russian Federation wasn't so helpful, so we just decided to see how much disgusting racism there was in WL.
https://snag.gy/pNFEv4.jpg (racism)
Key findings:
* Usernames beginning with A, C, N, O, and Y suffer the most discrimination on WL.
* Usernames beginning with E, H, I, and Z were the most racist on WL, so I've blacklisted everyone I see with those names now.
* Hostile, E Mastierround, indibob, and ZeroBlindDragon are all prime candidates to join the alt-right chat on Skype as such, and so I've messaged MC "topkeks" Karl about these.
* If Tabby didn't be, T's would be a much more respected-race. I mean it's just a sexy-looking mark, a T, but Tabby exacerbates it hard.
* You might not know this - it's a well-kept secret of the "other" race. But me, палач, and 3,14; all our usernames begin with "Other" but it's so small that you can't see it.
So where is the other infection (Жұқтыру), executioner (палач), and circumference divided by diameter? We're not allowed to say. We're just their doubles so that if we die, the real brains behind the deed still lives on.
Uh, endsay:
I exorciate racists. And you should, too. And also the Russian Federation has done a brilliant coverup of their operation in Belaroos, noone even noticed the country was temporarily occupied - I don't think that's ever been done before. Hats off to Russia.
Edited 12/4/2016 00:33:18
