Across the rocky, unforgiving terrain of suburban England, a noob travelled many fathoms and for many weeks to track down the residence of Master Skunk, renowned for his map-making ability. Upon finding Skunk, he prostrated himself before him and begged: "Master, please educate me in the ways of map making, make me your student and teach me everything you know."

Master gazed silently across the cul-de-sac to the Aldi beyond. Finally, he replied: "Return to me with the designs for a map with two territories and four bonuses."





A noob asked Master Piggy: "What is the route to enlightenment?" Master replied: "A ladder with 892 rungs."

Edited 1/7/2014 18:18:58

it is easier to thread a camel through the eye of a needle than it is for a level 51+ player to achieve englightenment

I'm writing a screenplay based on this thread. It's called Season I, Season II, Season III, Season IV ... And Season I.

And suddenly I'm skimming koans so that I can write new ones for this thread. How the fuck did this happen. What is wrong with me.

Dead piggy asked, "How many virgins to change a light bulb?" Anonymous answered, "I do it with myhand." Dead piggy replied, "You always do it with yourhand."

Edited 1/9/2014 04:45:52

there's a difference between koans and one-liners. shake my head

And Pulsius was enlightened.

Edited 1/10/2014 21:21:17

A noob asked Master X, "How do I become the greatest player on WarLight?"

To this X replied, "Start every game as if it was your last, end as if it was your first."

---

A noob said to Gnuff, "Show me your best game." Gnuff responded, "You won't find a single game that isn't my best."

The noob was englightened.

---

I'm no X, but the thread is about to die.

A noob asked Gnuzi, "How do I become the greatest player on WarLight?" Master Gnu responded, "Take five steps to a new level. Then change your name to [WM] Gnuffone, and you will be the best."

NoobSchool said to Master Gnu, "Do you have any suggestions about what I could have done better in this game?" Gnuzi replied, "I am the best."

A noob asked Gui, "How do I stop losing?" He replied, "Stop playing."

The noob was enlightened.

aw thanks guys this bump means a lot to me.

A noob asked Master Lolowut, "What are the secrets of Warlight?" He replied, "Lolowut vs Traintown"

The noob was enlightened.

looks like everyone joined my clan on this thread

19 posts were made without mention of Aranka. ps replied: "YAAT". At what point did the thread become YAAT?


Mumon's comment: Heavy is the precarious insect which stands on itself. The limb bends back so far that it has not moved an inch.

Yet another Aranka thread.
Another thread, yet Aranka.
Splitting the atom,
Create your known reality.

a noob asked ps: "How come every thread gets so much response here?"
ps replied: "I miss Aranka"

the noob was enlightened




\/ the one below's not a koan :(

Edited 2/23/2014 17:46:24

A noob asked Sensei Cultist "How do I stop losing and start winning games?". Sensei Cultist replied, "O sinful man! Why do you seek earthly victory, when you could have eternal victory over your soul? Join the Illuminati, sing songs of praise to them, and...you shall be forgiven."

The noob was enlightened.

A Noob asked Master Frank "How are you so good at 2v2?"
Master Frank replied "Trust in Slammy"

The noob was enlightened

A noob asked Gui, "How do I stop losing?" He replied, "Stop playing."

Mumon's comment: Gui's answer is easy to give but hard to take. It will be many years before this noob forgets the concept of losing.

Willing slave
Contract signed, arms shackled.
Stop playing, stop losing.
A victory beyond victory.

A noob asked Gui:"Is everyone you?".
Gui replied:"Who isn't me?"
The noob was enlightened.

A noob asked X:"Why does J Mikkelsen use his real picture?"
X replied:"Because one must not do without his movie star looks".
The noob was enlightened.

Oh gosh suck don't i.

One day Master myhand asked a noob: "why do you post before thinking?" The noob replied: "Lawlz". Master myhand was enlightened.