I'm trying to get it to open word and download shit, but it won't. It says *Download File Broken. See Electrician To Fix*. I don't know why. All I did was jam my dick in the DVD player and press "ENLARGE".

*Word
*CD drive - TVs have DVD players; computers have CD drives.

Why the hell would you put your dick in the computer's CD drive? You should consider clearing your computer after removing your dick from the CD drive. If the CD drive does function correctly after cleaning it, you should update your computer's CD drivers. If that doesn't work, get someone to replace it if you still want to use the CD drive.

What sort of 'shit' were you trying to download?

Try downloading what you were trying to download again. Make sure that you're computer is connected to the internet before you start downloading what you were trying to download again.

If Word didn't open, make sure that you've got a version that's compatible with your system. If you've got a 64-bit computer, use the x64 software because it's faster than the X86 software. If you've got a 32-bit based computer, you must use X86 software otherwise the software won't be able to run.
If you mean that Word didn't open in the way that it takes a long time to open, run a full anti-virus scan; if there are any viruses, remove them. You could also clean your disk and defragment your dives. You could also update your computer's software and upgrade your computer's hardware. For example, you could use a SSD instead of a HDD because SSDs are faster than HDDs.

Edited 7/2/2017 09:10:18

Dan, I'm 99% sure he was joking.

^I know.