Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Dave.

Dave who?

Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

:D good one

Poor Dave though :(

A duck walks into a bar, climbs onto a bar stool, and says to the bartender:

"Got any duck food?"

The bartender says, "no."

The duck waddles out, comes back the next day, and says "Got any duck food?" The bartender says, "no, it's a bar. Why would I have duck food?"

The duck leaves, returns the following day, and says "Got any duck food?" The bartender leans over the bar and says, "listen, you feathered freak. I didn't have duck food yesterday, I don't have it today, and I won't have it tomorrow. If you ask me for duck food one more time, I'm going to nail your bill to the bar. Now get the f*** out!"

The duck exits.

The next day, he enters the bar and says, "Got any nails?"

The bartender says, "no."

"Good," says the duck. "Got any duck food?"

Smart duck...