What are the types of Warzone/Warlight players you come across? It can range from toxic to very nice players, it doesn't really matter.

As many colours in the spectrum, there is a WZ player to match.

Toxic black players - just cause trouble

Friendly blue players - help everyone out

Lackadaisical orange players - don't really do anything, just amass units then when realize can't win, surrenders

Violent red players - attack anything nearby, likely lose unless gets lucky and wins

Envious green players - can't win but doesn't want you to either so will thwart you to the best of their ability

Sneaky purple players - NAP with you but then attack you anyhow without warning

Overly promise abiding yellow players - NAP with you and will be your friend until the end and can't bear to decide between you for who wins the game if you are the only 2 left; may proactively surrender and give you the win, or ask to VTE to avoid actually having to fight an ally

The list goes on ...

GREEN GANG STRONK!

"Violent red players - attack anything nearby, likely lose unless gets lucky and wins"


Me Who is red whom has Lost Nearly Everygame because I wasn't aggressive enough
this isn't true but I never played against another red so idk if this is false

Envious green reporting for duty! And quit trashing purple it makes you look like a toxic black and it is very much beneath you

Some additional colors:

Pink players: try to use this game to flirt with everyone all the time

Gold players: try to win 1st at absolutely everything while also trying to be everyone’s friend

Beige players: they quit the game after their first game because they think the game is “boring”

Grey/gray players: never talk. Ever. They simply play qms and are not in any clans

Not sure where all this colorism comes from... A few categories of warzone players, some players may fall into multiple categories. Also this list is not exhaustive.

Strat players: Prefer templates where the more skilled player wins. Can be found in strong clans and on the various ladders.

Elitist strat player: Variant of strat player, but tends to be very good and look down on those not as good. A sure sign of an elitist strat player is they proclaim ME far superior to MME.

Coin Miner: Primarilly cares about winning coins. Maybe they think smoky black is shiny or want a membership without spending real money. Will join just about any free for coins tournament.

Banker: Variant of coin miner, this player has already bought everything in the game but is throwing down huge coin games to repeatedly top the coin leaderboard. See Rene Descartes.

Small Earth Specialist: Loves the game at its most simple, and plays small earth and more small earth.

Free-for-all/Diplo player: Plays games with more than one person either with rules or no rules.

Casual Quickmatcher: Primarilly plays Quickmatch and isn't too fussy about winning as long as they're having a good time.

Forum presence: Doesn't actually play warzone games or does so infrequently. Will comment on tons of forum threads though or brag about how they've been on lv 56 the longest.

Edited 7/29/2020 01:53:39

I have a dream that my four little children will one day play an online multi-player strategy game where they will not be judged by the color of their territories but by the content of their clan tag.

                - Martin Luther King, Jr.

The Semi-Active Semi-Casual

• Has one of these clan tags:
  
• Eventually asks on global chat how to find the "leave clan" button
  
• Rarely encountered outside Quickmatch or the lower rungs of the ladder
  
• May have surprisingly high points in last 30 days, or may be inactive or dead IRL
  
• Can go inactive for months at moment's notice
  
• How to beat them in a game: Autopilot (Prod 1.0 or better)

The Elite

• Has one of these clan tags:
  
• Has come up at least once on a "greatest players right now" or GOAT list
  
• Can troll their way to the top of the ladder
  
• Possibly bribing Fizzer to let them hack the game
  
• Has been playing Warzone since it was called Parker Brothers' RISK®
  
• How to beat them in a game: Think about all your turns very carefully. Take as much time as you need. Play carefully, deliberately, and slowly if you want a chance. Do this every turn. The trick is that they are either retired or on the verge of retirement and will eventually boot if the game takes long enough.

The Once- or Near-Elite

• Has one of these clan tags:
  
• Struggles with activity, consistency or both
  
• Plays religiously on MDL or some other community event
  
• Identifies very strongly with their clan tag, thinks they're in the best clan
  
• May jokingly remark about how their clan is the best but won't get mad if you say they're not elite
  
• Has a winning record against at least one GOAT contender
  
• Has inside jokes that don't make sense even if you get them
  
• How to beat them in a game: Play extremely stupidly. They tend to assume you're a competent player and will be caught off guard by your triple wasteland start.

The Beta Orbiter

• Has one of these clan tags:
  
• Pretty good but falls just short of ambitions
  
• Has at one point done homework assigned by an elite player
  
• Vocally judgemental in attempt to identify with elite players
  
• Will get mad if you call them a 1900 when they're really a 2000
  
• Could actually be elite: if so, either retired or about to get poached by an elite clan where they will promptly retire
  
• How to beat them in a game: Read Norman's strategy guide to predict all their moves, and simply play against those moves. ezpz

The Wehraboo Diplomat

• Has one of these clan tags:
  
• Considers themselves interested in history but mostly just knows trivia about battles or racial groups
  
• Median age of 14
  
• Often echoes alt-right propaganda
  
• Creates increasingly elaborate game scenarios only to have players boot or break rules on Turn 2
  
• Active on clan chat, global chat, or forum
  
• How to beat them in a game: Join a lottery tournament. You're guaranteed to face and beat a good number of these players there.

The Foreign Exchange Student

• Has one of these clan tags:
  
• Understands many languages but cannot understand why kids enjoy the taste of delicious Cinnamon Toast Crunch
  
• Probably one of two or three players in their clan you can find in the wild
  
• How to beat them in a game: Sound play alone is sufficient. The strategy guides to Warzone are all in English.

The Win Farm

• Has one of these clan tags:
  
• Intermittently active
  
• Makes often confusing moves
  
• Has improved considerably in the game, from a ladder rating of 645 all the way to 1200
  
• How to beat them in a game: Get yourself to a losing position where you have no chance of recovery. Then watch their moves as they expertly sabotage their advantage and hand you the win.

The One Good/Active Player in Their Clan

• Has one of these clan tags:
  
• Has come back from retirement
  
• Might rejoin their clanmates in hibernation very soon
  
• Has some long history with the game
  
• How to beat them in a game: Wait until turn 1, they will boot.

The Oddball

• Has one of these clan tags:
  
• Has spent a suspiciously long time on Warzone without discovering or appreciating conventional strategic play
  
• Does something really odd with their time on the game
  
• Has a likely very sexual sense of humor
  
• Very active in clan chat or on the forums
  
• How to beat them in a game: Like with Rumpelstiltskin's contracts, NEVER agree to their game settings. As long as you do that, you will always win.

Edited 7/29/2020 04:49:43

Great post Knyte. By the way, Blitz is the best clan.

i fit the oddball definicion suspiciusly well


(exepct this: Has a likely very sexual sense of humor)

Edited 7/29/2020 16:25:29

How to beat them in a game: Play extremely stupidly. They tend to assume you're a competent player and will be caught off guard by your triple wasteland start.

Haha so true

btw faah is wrong, gg is the best

Haha knyte and Phobos' posts have just made my day, particularly knyte's, though I'm mildly annoyed that TLA still has that diplo-clan rep that I can't seem to shake no matter how many strat events I involve us in. 😉

AWESOME POSTS !! Great laughs.

Love the detail and effort Knyte.

And this was hilare:
"Creates increasingly elaborate game scenarios only to have players boot or break rules on Turn 2"

So true! And if you use the settings 'booted players turn into AI' and 'players can reclaim control from AI', then they can keep on getting booted long after turn 2 over and over again. At turn 5, 9, 12, 15...