This is my favourite thread of all time thanks Waffle!

there is none for me

Here is a list of facts about Mercer

1. He has had at least one job for every year of his life.
2. He was a school janitor until he was fired for throwing a cup of bleach on a student and her mother.
3. He then worked at a gas station as a cashier until he was fired for calling a customer a "son of a b---h."
4. He took a job as a factory hand until he was fired for hitting an employee with a ballpeen hammer.
5. At this point, his unemployment was running out, so he began working as a security guard. He was fired for being too mean with his clients.
6. His next job was as a file clerk until he got promoted to runner due to his fast typing skills. A mistake that would eventually lead to his downfall.
7. One day, the boss decided to step out and left a large sum of money on the desk. Due to an error, the money was given to a different runner who left with it.
8. Rather than tell his boss, Mercer decided to keep the money and went on vacation to California - using the company car.
9. On his flight there, he was arrested for using the car without permission.
10. When he returned, he told his boss what happened and was fired for lying.
11. Now out of a job and unable to pay for his flight home, Mercer stayed in a friend's spare room.
12. He borrowed money from a friend to eat and eventually managed to save enough money to return home.
13. On the plane, he met a flight attendant who gave him her frequent flier miles and a ticket off of the plane for him to use later.
14. When he got home, he went to the police and told them he took the money and ran away to California.
15. He was able to pay the fee to renew his high school diploma and took a job as a file clerk.
16. He was promoted due to his previous experience and began using the company car again.
17. He was fired for making threats, using racial slurs, and giving a subordinate a black eye.
18. He was hired again, this time as a courier due to his previous experience.
19. One day, he was fired again after showing up drunk to work.
20. He took a job as a door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman until he was fired for hitting a customer and then lying about it.
21. He was hired again at the age of 20 as a stock boy at a grocery store. He was fired after stealing candy from a customer and taking it home with him.
22. He was hired again at the age of 21 as a department store clerk. He was fired after stealing a jacket from a customer and claiming that his friend had given it to him.
23. He was hired again at the age of 24 as a private eye. He was fired after skipping out on a client and instead using the agency to find his wife who had run off with another man.
24. He now works for Fizzer and Associates as a file clerk due to his experience and low cost.

(please don't ban me Mercer)

Edited 10/9/2020 16:40:07

this is the best thread there is

(i hope mercer didn't do all that)(i doubt it)

Here is a list of facts about Legle

1. He may be a petty criminal, but he is loyal to those who pay him.

2. His thugs are just as brutal as he is.

3. He has been arrested about a half dozen times.

4. If he could shoot someone without getting caught, he would.

5. He is explosive crazy.

6. He has a thing for strong drink.

7. He actually loves getting beaten.

here is a list of facts about anon mod

1. he sucks

2. point one but in all caps

Here is a list of facts about Arrow838™

1. He drives a black "Inez" Ford Thunderbird.
2. He is known to wear a gray pinstripe suit and a red tie.
3. He smokes "Peace Peace" cigarettes
4. He has a very hard time saying "No."
5. He has a habit of waking up early in the morning.
6. He has a model train set which is kept in his basement.
7. He likes the "Onkel Reiner" song.
8. He has a pet lizard named "George."
9. He has a poster of John Travolta on his bedroom wall.
10. He has recently developed an interest in the "Flintstones."
11. He has recently had his ears pierced.
12. He really wants to see a ghost.
13. He recently took "bath salt." It was a bad idea.
14. He recently ate some "XTC-4." It was a bad idea.
15. He broke into a "McDonald's" because he was hungry.
16. He likes to brush his teeth after every meal.
17. He recently went to "Reno."
18. He eats "Tic Tac" mints.
19. He loves "Grandma."

Arrow838's creator is currently seeking funding via Patreon.

Here is a list of facts about Santa Claus

1. Santa Claus was born on December 6, but he chooses to celebrate his birthday on December 24.

2. The man who became Santa Claus did not begin life as St. Nick. He was born Jacob J. Smith, and he lived in a town called Dutch Kills, New York.

3. In Dutch Kills, New York, there was a large Dutch community. There were also many children in Dutch Kills, and the Dutch people believed in a lot of Christmas celebrations.

4. One day in 1873, Jacob J. Smith's wife gave birth to a baby boy. The Dutch people in Dutch Kills were all happy about the new baby, and they hoped he would be a nice person.

5. But, Mrs. Smith did not want a Dutch baby. She wanted a nice American baby, like the other children in her town. So, Mrs. Smith put the Dutch name "Sinter" (a form of "Saint Nicholas" -- who was a Dutch saint) on the baby's birth certificate.

6. But, Mrs. Smith kept calling the baby "Nick" instead of "Sinter.

7. The Dutch name "Sinter" is a funny word. It is made up of the words "Sint" and "Nicholas." The word means "Saint Nicholas."

8. In the Dutch language, there is no "N" sound. So, the Dutch people just wrote the letter "n" wherever it was needed in the word "Sinter." The letter "n" is actually pronounced as a short "o" in Dutch.

9. Mrs. Smith's father did not want his son-in-law to have a silly name. So, he told the parents to find a better one.

10. When Mr. and Mrs. Smith wanted a better name, they decided to call the baby "Jacob." But, they could not agree on a nickname for Jacob. So, Mrs. Smith suggested Joseph, since that is what her own parents named her.

11. But, the Smiths could not agree on a nickname for "Joseph." So, Mrs. Smith suggested the first name "John," since that is what her own father's name was.

12. The Smiths finally agreed on "Jim," because that is what everyone in Dutch Kills called the younger Smith brother.

Why does Santa give gifts to others for his own birthday?

santa has been a CIA asset since the 50s

Here is a list of facts about VERNAL VINAIGRETTE

1. He likes to perform dangerous experiments on people, such as exposing them to deadly poisons and administering painful procedures without anesthetic.

2. He keeps a complete human body in a jar in his lab.

3. He once gave a woman a powerful poison that he claimed could cure any disease, but it had the side effect of making her skin turn hard as a statue.

4. He has a pet racoon.

5. He is the creator of VIVA, a powerful drug with many beneficial effects, such as increased strength, senses, and speed.

6. He calls his assistant ELLIOT
7. He calls his assistant ELLIOT every morning to tell him that he can't be late for work.

8. He has two favorite employees: one is a male cashier who is very good with figures. The other is a female clerk who is very good at flirtatious banter.

9. On his days off he likes to drink at a bar called Maisonette, in a town called Jicol.

10. He is obsessed with the color purple.

11. He is deathly afraid of heights, so much so that he wears a helmet when on roller coasters.

12. During his college years he was in a band called VENTO D'ESTATE.

13. He believes that one day, humans and mollusks will live together in perfect harmony, under one ruler.

14. He spent his honeymoon in a small village in Africa, where he saved an old woman from being eaten by a lion.

15. His favorite movie is PLANET OF THE APES.

16. He loves the comedian John Cleese, and shares a birthday with him.

17. He thinks all the world's problems would be solved if people were to ditch their cell phones for a day.

18. He prefers the taste of tea to that of coffee.

19. He has a younger brother, GUIDO, who is an accountant in a bank.

20. He has no idea who Prince Charming is.

Here is a list of facts about Lightning

1. Lightning has won two Wimbledons and has been awarded a total of four medals.

2. Lightning is the first ever British judo champion.

3. Lightning is only one of five judo players in the world to have been awarded a black belt (alongside such luminaries as Sokichi Kobayashi of Japan, Yokuwatani Kyokutenho of Thailand, Hidehiko Yoshiteru of Japan and Rambam Shamir of Israel).

4. Unlike most judoka, Lightning's style of judo is more of a traditional Japanese art rather than a modern Olympic sport. Indeed, most of his matches are fought 'toe-to-toe', rather than with grappling.

5. He is one of the most famous - if not THE most famous - British athlete in history.

6. He has never lost to a Canadian in any kind of wrestling or martial arts competition.

7. In fact, he has never even lost to a Canadian in 'real life', let alone any kind of competition.

8. He has never even been on a plane.

9. He once ran three miles to and from the local judo centre.

10. He is the only British-born judoka to have ever won a medal in the Olympics.

Facts about waffle

1. He just lost the game

Facts about this thread

1. OP forgot to put "alternative" before "facts"

2. Some facts are actually funny

3. Some facts are not funny

4. it was started by a waffle.

Edited 10/14/2020 01:46:55

1. OP forgot to put "alternative" before "facts"

Nah, every fact here is 100% true.

Here is a list of facts about OvertForeigner

1. The number of overtforeigners has been going up.

2. GCR has been putting more effort into restricting overtforeigners.

3. It is assumed that overtforeigners are in league with each other. (At least the ones who are not from an independent nation or causing trouble in a nation which isn't willing to do anything about it. Others may or may not be in league depending on their nation of origin)

4. A program has been set in motion to eliminate all overtforeigners before they become a serious problem.

5. The plan is to catch them at the border.

6. There has been a change in procedure based on the information that was uncovered in the first place.

7. Any overtforeigner attempting to enter GCR will no longer be allowed past the border, will be sent back to their nation of origin, and if discovered, will be executed.

8. Border security is being stepped up and support from all GCR locations has been asked for.

9. The plan is due to go into effect in a week, and will last for the rest of the year.

Here is a fact about Waffle:

1. They know too much. They are a threat.

I wonder who has the most real facts about players here. It's not too hard, because I see many notable, well known and some ancient players.

My attempt:

Vernal Vinaigrette: mein old friend. Likes to surprise sometimes. Always comes back. Is a great person overall.

Rikku: likes to tricku. My old friendo. I always mistake Vernal, Rikku and Jim, James, although it's a shame to admit, the names are similar and often change. I'm sorry. Sometimes I don't know with who of them I'm talking

Cata: ancient player, quirky cat with a twist, does his own thing, hard to win Cata approval

OvertForeihsaghul: loves to use keyboard. Makes valuable quality posts

N.W HI: keyboard is his passion.

berdan: heavy keyboard abuser and addict.

Liechtensteiner: community persona, is the heart of every party and always at the centre of things

waffle: the only guy here I don't really know

Orannis: oreo, I don't know him but at least his name sounds familiar, I see his posts often, but don't pay too much attention to them for some reason.

TungstenTrex: Retired criminal who has too much free time. At night he turns into a crow and scares people

Too lazy to write more, but I probably know more facts than I would like to admit.

Edited 10/15/2020 23:10:15

Here is a list of facts about Cata Cauda

1. Cata Cauda is a huge monster, larger than any known species.

2. It's skin is very hard (almost steel like), but still warm to the touch.

3. It's skin colour is muted green.

4. It has four long legs, two front and two rear.

5. It has a long tail, with a stinger at the end.

6. It has a large mouth with multiple rows of teeth.

7. Its eyes are bright red.

8. It has no wings, but instead four clawed arms that are very long.

9. It has no fingers on its arms, but rather long sharp claws.

10. It has no distinguishable neck, simply a large head with a long mouth full of teeth.

11. It makes a high-pitched screech, which is unbearable to the human ear.

12. It smells awful, like rotting meat.

13. It always sleeps standing up.

14. It is impossible to sneak up on, as it can instantly sense the presence of humans.

15. It is impossible to sneak past.

16. It is impossible to reason with.

17. It is impossible to kill.

18. It is impossible to escape.

19. It can only be defeated with overwhelming force, and that only succeeds in a limited way.

20. It will always find a way to survive.

These are the facts.

Edited 10/15/2020 17:55:33