But it Covid19 forever stays in your body, wreaking havoc on your body.

The ability to decrease entropy on a isolated system.
BTW, this is similar to this reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/9kfmtz/youve_been_granted_one_wish_by_the_douchebag/

But the spare entropy is spread out on all other systems.
Summoning loyal dragons

All of which are (in armor) weaker than a paper

THE ability to steal everyone’s powers (including God or yahweh)

However, turns out God doesn't exist so nobody has powers and you can't steal them

Ability to stretch your butthole as much as you want

Once you start you can never stop

The ability to never need sleep ever

You get more and more insane the longer you don’t sleep

The ability to have the high ground

But Anakin wins no matter what you do

The ability to make other people teleport to wherever I want but not myself

Your family and friends teleport there too

The ability to have an ability

Except only one ability
The ability to get 5-star party members (+5 points if you get the anime reference I'm thinking of)
Hint: Sucks to have Iona call for you.

Edited 11/13/2020 14:47:23

Except nobody cares about anime and everyone thinks you’re a fucking nerd

Ability to seduce anyone

Toward everyone else except you

Magnetic powers

Except when you try to push, you pull; if you pull, you push.
(Orannis, not f*cking cool.)
Insane luck

Insane BAD luck

The ability to fill anything up

But you have to empty it the moment you're not filling it up
Ability to use "The Force" (Edit: not this one, not this one!)
The ability to start blizzards at will (Yes, this one.)

Edited 11/15/2020 08:04:41

But this causes extreme climate swings, so the following week will become a heatwave.

The power to 'switch off' pain receptors in the nervous system/brain/whatever.

Except you can't turn them back on and die from wounds you didn't know you had.

The power to make glad wrap not stick to itself until you've wrapped it around the container.

But it sticks extra hard to you

Ability to make a copy of any document appear in my hands

But the document will vanish in a minute

Ability to qwetuiopigdtbg (I have no ideas rn lol)