Due to the increasing obnoxiousness of the trolls like Platypus, Capybara, and Red Panda, I have decided to create a thread where people can ask anything they want about those annoying animals...or anything else. I am the world's FOREMOST expert in these categories:


1. Trolling animals
2. Nazis
3. Carrots
4. My profile picture

Dear Walrus,

1. Why do you hate me so much? All I did was ask Red Panda how to stop a walrus from eating my carrots.

2. Why does your profile picture have a cat on it?

Platypus,

1. Because you openly expressed your disdain for me and my race, saying "I HATE walruses". That is why I have no respect for you.

2. It is not a cat, but a walrus, cleverly disguised as an adorable kitten, who, right now is under your Christmas tree (and Red Panda's tree, Capybara apparantly does not celebrate Christmas) who, on December 25, is going to assasinate you and Red Panda.

Dear Walrus,

how stupid do you have to be to misspell your own username?

x

Dear x,

A man's intelligence is not measured by how badly he spells his username. Did you know that when Stephen Hawking started playing Warlight, he spelled his username with a "u" instead of an "o"? It's crazy, I know, but it happens to the best of us.

Dear Platypus, How do I get rid of a red panda trying to kill a horny capybara that wishes to mait with me?

Dear man in search of answers,

Please do not call me Platypus again. I am offended by that statement, and do not wish to be confused as Platypus, a troll and a liar.

As for your problem, I must say, that is quite a difficult conundrum. You don't want to kill the panda immediately, because the capybara won't want to marry a murdurer. I think you should invite the panda to a dinner party with some of your friends. Hire one of those friends as a hit man. Then, when he kills the panda, blame it on him, and the capybara will still want to mate with you.

stop making this shit its pissing me off

stop making this shit its pissing me off

Says the number 1 troll on Warlight...

Dear walrus the has a grudge against a warlight player under the name of platypus, juggernaut of denmark)

There seems to be an immigration of animals who seem to hate players. There is a monkey who hates gui, a cabybara who hates X, and a red panda who hates a capybara who hates X. Why do you think this is happening?

Sincerally Mylor ftw

Also, on the forums, there seems to be a series of threads who want to give advice to people. There are lots of them that i cannot name completely, but im sure you know them. Why are there more people who are helpful on warlight than i thought?

Mylor,

1. Well, I blame the increase of angry animals to the recent election in the USA. Monkey, Capybara, and Red Panda were all conservatives who liked Romney. When he lost, they got all mad and started venting their anger on the Warlight forums. We should soon see a turtle who hates Moros and a ostrich who hates Lolowut appear.

2. Because many people like to foist their opinions on others. I, however, am not one of those people; I just want people to know everything there is to know about the animal trolls on Warlight.

interesting. Who knew animals had the right to vote in the US elections?

Mylor,

These trolls don't have the right to vote, they just cheat.

Anti-Platypus Walrus, I did what you said and it completely backfired. I now have a friends funeral to go to, that capybara almost raped me, and the red panda blew up my car. It now appears I must leave town. Do you recommend any places?

Kathmandu

Dear Man in Search of Answers,

What? It didn't work??? You must not have done it right, incompetent fool...well, because you don't have a car anymore, bike to the nearest airport and take a plane to New York. In that big city, it's highly unlikely the red panda will find you. As for funerals, they're really overrated. So don't bother attending that one, it's not worth your time.

I believe I am the one who is supposed to be answering these questions. See what I mean? A complete troll...

Anyway, Man in Search of answers, don't listen to that deluded fool. Go somewhere small, and quaint, like a country town in Vermont. He'll never find you out there.

It turns out my house was also robbed in the whole procces. It appears all they did was destroy an anti-red panda books and other items I have. I think I know who is responsible. Also I went to to the funeral and it was overated. Its just so much work to stick a person six feet under. Anyway it appears I am stuck here for the time being. I don't have any money after dating that Capybara.