Yes, it's everybody's favourite thread format! With your forum fave, Ozymandias Melancholia (or x to the people still living in 2011).

Here's how it works this time: you post me your game links, alongside the question "What is wrong with me?", and I will psychoanalyse you to the best of my ability, based on the game. Or if you like, I will analyse another player (alter the question accordingly).



For instance: http://warlight.net/MultiPlayer?GameID=3627766

Case #1: B. Walsh ... no, that's too obvious ... Billy W.

This sorry individual is one of the most maladjusted cases I've ever encountered in my two-and-a-half minutes of amateur forum psychology. His inability to give up what is lost demonstrates a crippling fear of death, like a person who cannot bear to let go of the posessions of the deceased. Most likely he also finds it difficult to dispose of excrement, and retains it in labelled jars.

His irrepressible desire to be booted is an adjunct of his masochism. I have decided to withold from him the satisfaction he would derive therefrom. Forcing the unwilling to acquiesce and to participate in this sexually charged act is a part of his sick game. I predict that my patient will become aggravated by the deprivation of pleasure and frustrated by the inability to bend me according to his will. It is possible that he will attack me verbally, and maybe even attempt to boot me, in order to regain control over the situation.

question, what is wrong with you?

Why do you say that there is something wrong with me?

other than the fact that you put a huge picture right in the middle of the post?

How does it make you feel when I do that?

better than you

Gyah, these are so stupid. I hope Fizzer bans from Warlight the next player to create one of these.

What's wrong with me?
http://warlight.net/MultiPlayer?GameID=3570432

My image is hot. I was about to masturbate. But I am too lazy. What is wrong with me?

@Moros: Surely that's too easy, the map is a massive penis that you have set out to conquer...

I think we've come as far as we can, Hell bender. I will speak with your parents tomorrow about referring you to a child psychologist. They have a better understanding of minds as undeveloped as yours.



Hello Platypus, it's good that you've joined us. I was worried that you wouldn't attend. I think that if you want to be helped as much as I want to help you, we can make a lot of progress.

Let's begin with this fun game! Just look at the above picture and tell me what you see.

IDoes Sze have a phallus obsession? If being the best was rewarded with the rank of 0 (the shape of a vagina) instead of a 1 (the shape of a penis), would Sze strive so hard (Freudian slip?) to reach 1 (double entendre?)?

for a second i thought this was yet another troll who decided to make this to capitalise on the "ask___" threads, but then i realised this is just x under a different name, so im not surprised.

ha

For a second I thought. Then my head hurt when I realized that I am just another troll. So I stopped and instead focused my attention on the two naked black ladies above wearing strap-ons while their breasts bubble with red juice of passion.

Case #2: Medium Hans

This adolescent patient's fear of intimacy drives him to isolate himself from his friends and enemies alike. In a story he related to me, Hans seperates himself by a body of water before tentatively reaching out towards his peers. However, his fear of intimacy is deep, and is not conquered. It manifests itself when he lashes out at another, afraid that the same will be done to him.

This product of the patient's terror produces an effect contrary to his greatest desire, a lasting relationship. He experiences a retaliation to his aggression, and thus feels further alienated from society.

If somebody attacks you without reason, please try to react with understanding and compassion. The player may be psychologically damaged and will be reassured by friendly treatment rather than an aggressive response.

I believe that a combination of cognitive behavioural therapy and medical marijuana will achieve significant results with Hans. If CBT is ineffective, further psychoanalysis may help him deal with his issues, which likely originate with his parent's treament of him as a child. Most commonly with cases like this, the parents did not want a child, and their nonchalant treatment leaves the child incapable of establishing real connections with others.

Case #3: Dead Piggy

The subject's latent homosexuality has resulted in a powerful neurosis which leads to his perception of male sexual organs where none are commonly observed. For instance, in the map of Italy, which to most people resembles a boot.

He projects his obsession with the penis onto others, which has led to a number of embarassing social situations, where he has unwittingly revealed his real orientation.

http://warlight.net/MultiPlayer?TournamentID=3764
http://warlight.net/MultiPlayer?GameID=3622436
what is wrong with me???

Case #4: Sloth

I have yet to discover the precise details, but this patient is some kind of sexual deviant. He makes unremitting and evocative sexual comments in a desperate attempt to appear normal, but it is evident that he is overcompensating for his intrinsic sexual otherness. He insinuates that others have questionable sexualities in order to distract attention from himself.

He indicates anhedonia vis-a-vis his sexuality, which might lead a less experienced psychoanalyst to diagnose asexuality, but he would not make it so obvious. Perhaps this ennui is also resultant from his societal stigma.

for a second i thought this was yet another troll who decided to make this to capitalise on the "ask___" threads, but then i realised this is just x under a different name, so im not surprised.

How did it make you feel when you thought there was another troll on the forum?

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Case #5: Pierre

The subject is a textbook case of fear of success, or 'Jonah Complex' as Dr. Wikipedia Redirect terms it. He gets a member of the opposite sex in an uncompromising position, but fails to pull the trigger.

Pierre has a recessive id. He is over-concerned about the feelings of others in a conceited urge to be a 'good guy'. Even though he revealed, in their chat, that the girl would have enjoyed being dominated, he still demurs. As such, both are left unsatisfied. Pierre must understand that a denial of base desires, which we all share, makes one appear phony and inhuman.

At home we have this thought: 12 year old children should not play doctor spouting out nonsense which they think has value, they should focus on their, in your case plethora, issues, first.

How do you feel about this?

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One day you are insulting the dead the next you are playing doctor, God help us all.

We think you should retire this game, and be humble. Saying someone has a "weak" is not something a doctor would say.