This is the real reason I came back to the forums. To find this thread. And this, THIS is what I find!
I met up with JRuss. It turns out he is a she! She has blonde hair and uses the JRuss persona as a creative ploy. She's actually not that bad looking but is a lesbian, which explains her JRuss persona's somewhat masculine nature.
What part of "I solemnly swear I will not post about this," was confusing to you?! You're a lying piece of crap. I hate you now more than ever.