I'm sitting there. Thinking about my thoughts in this life.
Things have gotten boring and repetitive now. Nothing I do gives me thrills.
I rarely speak with my friends, and my family is just my mother.
She's nice but I'm not okay if she's all I have.
I feel... very alone.
...
Does life have any meaning to me?
Everything's the same. Nothing is happening. I feel very alone, and I have no one to talk to.
The world I wish to live in is just out of reach.
The person who I wish to be is just out of reach.
...
Would they be better off without me?
Would the lives of my family been better off with me not existing?
She would have stayed at her job, and would have taken better care of my sister...
She would have been happier...
...
A noose. Hanging from the ceiling.
As I step closer, I weigh my thoughts. One last time.
"Do you wish to die?"
...Despite everything my mind is telling me, that life is not worth living and everyone else would be happier without me...
...I walk away, with one thing left on my mind.
I don't want her to suffer because of me.

(an: i'm not okay. i act like i'm fine but i just cannot. i'm sorry.)