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Dad Jokes: 2022-10-09 22:15:09


Samek ●
Level 57
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Give me your favorite Dad Jokes! ●
Dad Jokes: 2022-10-10 03:13:13


alexclusive 
Level 65
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Dad, I'm hungry.

Hello hungry, I'm dad.
Dad Jokes: 2022-10-10 03:22:25


EIGBM
Level 55
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"The Aristocrats" is a taboo-defying off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up comedians since the vaudeville era[citation needed]. It relates the story of a family trying to get an agent to book their stage act, which is revealed to be remarkably vulgar and offensive in nature, with the punch line revealing that they incongruously bill themselves as "The Aristocrats".[1] When told to audiences who know the punch line, the joke's humor depends on the described outrageousness of the family act.[2][3]

Because the objective of the joke is its transgressive content, it is most often told privately,[4] such as by comedians to other comedians.[5] It came to wider public attention when it was told by Gilbert Gottfried during the Friars' Club roast of Hugh Hefner, 18 days after the 9/11 terrorist attacks in 2001.[6] It was the subject of a 2005 documentary film of the same name by Paul Provenza and Penn Jillette.

Format
This joke typically has these elements—alternative versions may change this form.

Setup: A family act (or a representative, usually the male head of household) goes in to see a talent agent about booking their act. The agent asks what their act consists of.
Act: If the whole family is present, the act is performed for the agent; otherwise it is described, in as much detail as the teller prefers, typically ad lib. Traditionally, the description is tasteless and ribald, with the goal to significantly transgress social norms. Taboo elements such as racism, animal cruelty, incest, rape, child sexual abuse, coprophilia, coprophagia, bestiality, necrophilia, cannibalism, and murder are common themes.
Punch line: The shocked (or intrigued) agent asks what the act is called, and the proud answer (sometimes delivered with a flourish) is: "The Aristocrats!" Some versions have the agent then asking, "So – Is that all ya' got?"
Dad Jokes: 2022-10-10 10:47:21

(deleted) 
Level 63
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Nice Christmas tree. Are you going to put it up yourself?

No I was going to put it in the living room.
Dad Jokes: 2022-10-10 12:34:43


Math Wolf 
Level 64
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I was considering moving to St. Petersburg. But with this war now, I'm not Russian into things.

(Question: does one need to be a dad to make dad jokes?)
Dad Jokes: 2022-10-10 12:42:00


Samek ●
Level 57
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Nope! xD
Dad Jokes: 2022-10-10 13:45:04


alexclusive 
Level 65
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What's the difference between a flamengo? Both legs are equally long, especially the left
Dad Jokes: 2022-10-10 14:34:46


Darth Grover
Level 52
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How do you know when a joke is a dad joke?


It just becomes apparent.
Dad Jokes: 2022-10-10 15:48:09


JK_3 
Level 63
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I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y.
Dad Jokes: 2022-10-10 15:52:36


111
Level 58
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Cats are like purpur pillars.

They pur.
Dad Jokes: 2022-10-10 17:32:34


Benyyl 
Level 60
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I want a new bottom for Xmas, mine has a hole in it
Dad Jokes: 2022-10-10 20:22:49

Orannis
Level 57
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Dad Jokes: 2022-10-10 22:03:52


Samek ●
Level 57
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xD Thank you everyone for submitting. Really cheered me up! ●
Dad Jokes: 2022-10-11 13:52:03


Tac(ky)tical 
Level 63
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dad: "bye son, im leaving to buy milk"
Dad Jokes: 2022-10-11 14:02:02


Math Wolf 
Level 64
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Son, I'll have you know that most people don't solve their disagreements with violence!


...



Just beat them up for an easy win.
Dad Jokes: 2022-10-11 18:53:26


Darth Grover
Level 52
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I went to a zoo last week and the only animal was a little white dog.

It was a shih tzu.
Dad Jokes: 2022-10-12 02:42:42

(deleted) 
Level 63
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Her: *in recovery position* Call me an ambulance
Him: You’re an ambulance

Him: *holds wedding ring* I’m going to make you mine
Her: Oh my god yes
Both: *wares hard hats and have pickaxes in hand*

Her: What’s your idea of a perfect date?
Him: DD/MM/YYYY. I find other formats confusing

Nurse: Sorry for the waiting
Dad: No problem I’m patient
Dad Jokes: 2022-10-13 03:18:13


Darth Grover
Level 52
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I tell small kids all the time that:

When I was your age they hadn't invented the color red yet.
Dad Jokes: 2022-10-14 00:25:14


Alien
Level 61
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joe mama
Dad Jokes: 2022-10-14 13:22:40


Darth Grover
Level 52
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Knock Knock
Posts 1 - 20 of 36   1  2  Next >>