Being gay, and acting gay, are not the same thing.
The word gay itself is derived from behavior, it was only later used to describe homosexuals because so often they acted in a gay way (that's flamboyent and extrovert) because homosexuality was illegal. So this behaviour was used to identify themselves, hence the idea of "gay identity")
These days often homosexuals don't act in a gay way, and the word "gay" is now more often used in reference to homosexuality, rather than flamboyent behavior.
Both meanings are still valid though, and still used.
There is another meaning for gay also: "foolish, stupid, or unimpressive"
For me it makes sense that berdan was using this last definition of gay, as this was the behaviour diplayed by his partner. But saying that, he said about "gay behavior" but this could be a simple language complication, seeing as he is Polish and therefore probably drunk. I'll wait for clarification on this point.
I'm glad the false accusations of him using the word "fag" have been dropped.
(Edit: Changed the definition of gay to the one from Google to make it clearer and more objective)
See here:
https://www.google.co.uk/#safe=off&q=gay+definition
Edited 7/16/2015 11:32:22