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no friends: 2015-09-16 18:15:57


FC Bayern 
Level 69
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At first sorry for my terrible english ...

I was hyperactive on the elementary scool and so i was bullied by most of the students (it is a long story ...)
I had just 2 friends. But, i have lost them after we chanced to other middle scools. my last meeting with a friend was 4 years ago. I am 16 now and i am going to high scool since 3 days.
Almost every day i just lying on my bed, listen to rockmusic, playing warlight and go to scool.

I go to a new class and nobady knows that i am a outsider.by the way, 23 of 30 students are girls ;-)
I dont like to be an outsider again. A few problems are, that i am very shy and dont like to do the first step by starting a conversation or ask the others to meet up. I life in a village - the other students are 25kilometers away from me.

Thank you for an answer!

Edited 9/16/2015 18:29:57
no friends: 2015-09-16 18:24:13


Riveath
Level 59
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I do get what you feel... well, kind of-ish. I was always active in school as well, but I didn't get bullied because of that (well, people in my class were too intelligent for stuff like this). I was (and still am) a bit of an outsider ; I don't like talking to people about random subjects, which is what most people appear to do quite often.

Since you're going to a new school, start by doing your best at the first days : the initial impression does count, for everyone, is it a student or a teacher. Try to be friendly, open enough (no need to exaggerate, just respond when someone talks to you) and you should do alright.

My opinion, which is a honest one. Well, I can't really understand your situation as a whole, but... well, I try :)


(Also, that's an example of an actually useful thread)
no friends: 2015-09-16 20:02:40


BanaNa
Level 30
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thats really sad irony/tyrion...

good luck with life man

Edited 9/16/2015 20:07:44
no friends: 2015-09-16 20:17:24


ChrisCMU 
Level 61
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I got ripped pretty hard in school because my last name is easy to make fun of, plus I was very smart and wore glasses. It sucked and I only had a few friends. But, when you get to college it is a blank slate. All the reputations are out the window.

Just hang in there and be yourself because eventually you are not forced to be around those immature people.
no friends: 2015-09-16 20:19:13


Lolicon love
Level 56
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I have a problem like this since I have few friends due to my social anxiety and because of that am kind of an outsider.
no friends: 2015-09-16 20:19:46


Genghis 
Level 54
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Iirc schooling in Germany is very different than in America/Texas. Again iirc, this means you are going to be with 23 women for the rest of high school, ja? If so, I have but this to say : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

I found it little troubling to make friends as well. I was very intelligent for my age, and since then I have only grown smarter. The biggest roadblock is finding topics you can both talk about. Most of the time, i'd ask people what classes they had. for the 3rd time iirc, I don't believe that would work for German schooling though.
no friends: 2015-09-16 20:26:03


Potatoe
Level 57
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Hey FC Bayern :) I have a few tips for yourself and for anyone with social problems..

You need to be confident.. If I could have one skill I could keep with for social interaction is Confidence. Being Shy will hide your personality in the shadows.. You need to work it up, Your self-esteem needs to be worked up.. Your body is made to do natural changes to increase this (You are being negative to this)

How do we work up your confidence?

Stop thinking about the past.. Fuck the past.. Live the future.. (You always will remember the bad times rather than good) So stop that.

Exercise, You get a chemical released into your brain which is a natural high, This increase your confidence.

And do whatever makes you more confident.. It takes time to do this.

Now what Platinum I feel confident.. ?

Well, Practice makes perfect so lets go and practice new social skills and try to perfect them!

I recommend Omegle text. (Don't go pictures cause we all know why) You start off with a person you don't know you practice and practice trying to get them to know them.. If you perfect these social skills on omegle, 9/10 a good conversaton should arise with adding of phone numbers,Skype etc etc.. Be careful though and always try to get picture proof etc internet safety should a slight concern not too big though.

Now you have a good confidence mindset, Worked up on your socialing abilites it's time to go to the real world.

This is where you need to experiment.. Try different things.. Like maybe being the class clown.. Trying to start a conversation in different ways.. Do Music! Not many people do music.. You can meet people doing rock! Maybe someone could speak rock and you can be with them. You need to be putting yourself out there.. You are a new pupil, You had your real life pictures as your warlight profile.. I can honestly say girls will consider you good looking.. So they will not be scared when you approach them..

Golden tip: Always smile even if it's a fake smile.. This always puts you in a good mode.. As your speaking in a light tone and seem very appraochable!



Am I right? I can tell you I'm 15 going on 16 this month.. I do try to put myself out there... I do have my little moments of fame! Which has never use to happen.. I use to be a outsider in the sense of being shy but now I'm confident I feel better about myself and I feel my life is going up and up instead of having moments where I feel shit about myself.

Feel free to mail me :)

Sources? I'm Irish ;)

Some little conversation starters.. :)

You need to communicate.. Your first line of starting doesn't matter as long as you continue the conversation.. I don't remember half the first liners people do to me because they continue the conversation!

Talk about some teachers... Maybe something happened after class.. Say "That teacher is such a bitch to you"

You can play dumb and ask what class we have next you are communicating and you can expand on that :)

I could think of more but take in the information above!

Also I am not smart.. So don't think I'm like I don' know.. Umm.. Nerdy! Or Geeky :) I am none of these and neither should it matter!

Gluck!

Edited 9/16/2015 20:29:47
no friends: 2015-09-16 20:33:33


Genghis 
Level 54
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See I didn't get math very well. It never "clicked" with me. I just got through it. As an engineer now though, I find that Algebra was somewhat useful. Geometry, not as much. Knowing calculus certainly looks good to a College though.

I never researched literature. It is something that has never interested me. That said, I do enjoy some of the English classics like "White Fang" or "Pride and Prejudice".

I used to and still do ignore politics when I can. It's just retarded 1/2 time. It's interesting to talk about with family though. It's just stupid to try and research it when it's mostly lies and scandals.

I will say that so many students are ignorant of the world in general. Ignorant of the US itself for chrissake. They should have a class where they just go over 20-40 countries from different regions/cultural areas of the world (i.e., USA, Guatemala, Argentina, Ethiopia, Morocco, Mozambique, Austria, Spain, Turkey, Saudi Arabia, India, China, Japan, Russia,etc.) and have the students embrace the diversity, and have a minimal understand of the regions and different populations. Subject they could go over for the countries would be : Public Education, Recent History, Economy, Government and Wealth.
no friends: 2015-09-16 20:36:43


Lolicon love
Level 56
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well some people are reluctant to be near me anyway since it's known to people that I am a lolicon,reason why I like to have little friends I don't like people spreading my secrets, and that puts some people of as they think I'm a wierdo.
no friends: 2015-09-16 20:39:58


Potatoe
Level 57
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Stop derailing the thead.. -_- Make a thread about USA Education. We outsiders don't care and neither do we want to know. Mail each other do whatever..
no friends: 2015-09-16 20:41:07


Genghis 
Level 54
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Everything that can be said to improve this young man's socializing has been said. No doubt he's found something useful to take with him. This thread is now ripe for the derailment since its original purpose has expired.
no friends: 2015-09-16 20:44:18


Potatoe
Level 57
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Your being disrespectful if anything here Genghis..

Derailing a thread is pointless and is just annoying to see...

Go and make another thread.. It isn't so simple for a very smart man as you said...
no friends: 2015-09-16 20:44:36


master of desaster 
Level 66
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Feeling confident is the most important Thing. People around you sense if you feel confident or not. Buy some nice clothes, make your outside look good and People are also more interested in your character. if you look good, you feel automatically more confident. People are firstly most interested in how you look like, not how smart you are, or how nice. later on, they get to know you better, and then you can impress them with a good character.
no friends: 2015-09-16 20:50:30


Genghis 
Level 54
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Good point, master.

You don't have to buy anything designer brand. Some plaid, flannel or striped shirts can look nice. It's also nice to have a few tees with a funny saying or picture.
no friends: 2015-09-16 20:59:25


Potatoe
Level 57
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What is the problem?
no friends: 2015-09-16 20:59:28


Beren Erchamion 
Level 64
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I don't have much to say other than that I agree with most of what has been said here. Since you're with a bunch of new people and they don't know you, just make an effort to be friendly. First impressions are valuable.

Another thing to remember is that even if people appear to be confident, happy, and popular, they may still feel just as insecure as you do underneath.

I'm glad that people are taking this seriously and giving good advice
no friends: 2015-09-16 21:02:28


master of desaster 
Level 66
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Of course that problem was much smaller when you knew everyone in the village. Nowadays you filter the persons you want to get to know. First filter is if you like the others persons appearance. Very sad but that's how it works.
no friends: 2015-09-16 21:04:39


Potatoe
Level 57
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I disagree 100% with that statement (Relationships yes of course) But at school lmao.. Nope.. Your personality + Confidence matters!
no friends: 2015-09-16 21:05:18


Potatoe
Level 57
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We wear school uniforms here in Ireland so... Wearing the coolest brands doesn't matter we all have the same clothes :)
no friends: 2015-09-16 21:05:36


master of desaster 
Level 66
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Only as secondary factor. After one or 2 weeks maybe
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