Introduction

Welcome to clan news weekly, a 101% reliable news source here to deliver your weekly dose of clan news! We are 101% sure we have no bias whatsoever. Just the news, like you really wanted it.* Never mind that our public earnings report says 101% of our funds are from 101st. 101st is a great clan and we respect them too much to ever place any bias in our news in their favor. In fact, you should probably join them right now. They are a great clan. In fact this is what cowboy has to say about them:

"We are great" - Cowboy

And you can hear it from krunx too:

"We are great" - krunx

In fact, I asked every single player in 101st how they feel about their clan! They all replied exactly the same.

"We are great" - everyone in 101st.

Talk about great training! Lynx has made sure that 101st players are of top of the caliber, making each act and play exactly the same! Incredible, I must say, Incredible. But what is even more incredible is the deal we have to share with you. It took us a bit to get past the moralist protesters who were in front of Lynx HQ, but we strong-armed our way through to provide each and every one of you with the high-quality content you deserve. And we are glad to be the first ones to report it.


BREAKING: 101st/Lynx Conglomerate Signs Merger Deal with Outlaws


In a surprising twist of fate, not at all expected due to what was originally sour relations between the two groups, lynx/101st have now signed a merger deal with Outlaws. Sources say that the administrators in Outlaws are just as shocked about this revelation as we are.

According to the details of the deal, Outlaws will phase out its best players and bring them into Lynx. The rest of its players will remain in Outlaws. 101st/Lynx plans to use Outlaws for their "special" recruits they feel they can develop more quickly than those in 101st itself. 101st will still see promotions directly to Lynx when skill levels reach a high enough level, but it is expected at Outlaws will become the main feeder into Lynx, with 101st serving as a clan for "experimentation" with newer players who may "be a bit more intolerant" to the current system.

Protests re-intensified after the signing of this merger. Pro-Outlaws supporters joined in with the moralists, as well as a new swelling of players. There have been growing accusations that the CEO of lynx/101st, ZeroBlindDragon, has been corrupting and seducing players with a drug known as "GDP". The details of how this drug works is not known, it seems to have only been recently developed.

Drug experts tell us that as with any new drug, the side effects are not well known, and is likely to be put on Schedule II until more information about it is released. Preliminary reports suggest, however, that this substance belongs strictly on Schedule I.

We invited ZeroBlindDragon, TheRiverStyxie, and Platinum to discuss with us at our headquarters.

ZeroBlindDragon denies taking part of any foul play. "We train our players well. 101st is currently the best training clan on WarZone. We are glad to be pairing with Outlaws to produce a training clan that is better than the best! It will be mutually beneficial for all parties involved." The Administrative team seemed to be in full agreement. "We are great."

We also discussed Outlaws CEO, Platinum, however, whenever we inquired, we only received praise about how great 101st was. His subordinates tell us that their boss had been acting strangely since he went out on a joint business conference with New World Order, only staring blankly at the ceiling, and occasionally spurting "We are great.".

TheRiverStyxie told us that such behavior is unusual for a normally spunky, animated guy. At first it was only platinum, but administrators such as krzysztof and Kezzo started both acting unusual, spurting off the same mantra as their boss. "This entire situation makes us very uncomfortable."

Stranger yet, when ZeroBlindDragon offered her a glass of water, telling her it was "okay", she took a sip of water, and suddenly her face relaxed and went blank. She then promptly agreed by saying "we are great".

After our interviewer inquired about the behavior, he also was offered a glass, which he declined. After what sounded like forcing sounds, our interviewer has since spouted off "we are great" ever since. Luckily for us, he was recording, so we were still able to capture most of the conversation.

Sources tell us this may not be the last move. New World Order Director of Operations, Lequebicois Benoit, tells us he has been commissioned to negotiate a deal between 101st/lynx and GG. He seems to think that a merger would be successful.

"We have delivered the Subst- uhh... I mean the script of proposal to GG Headquarters. They seem compliant and willing." Benoit is known to be the representing neutral third party for any major signing done between lynx and other clans.


Mysterious Package shows up at Masters/Apprentice Headquarters


Mysterious packages have shown up on the doorstep of lynx/101st's main rival: Masters/Apprentice. Deadman, always suspicious, refused to open it after these recent events. He sent it to Drug Expert sloppyfatginger for testing. He confirmed that there was a significant concentration of GDP. However, he found interestingly enough, that there was also a significant concentration of alcohol within the liquid. Intrigued, he drank the entire contents of the liquid himself. Now he is repeatedly telling us "he wants beer." with a blank face. After deadman gave him the cheapest beer he could find, sloppyfatginger spit it out, saying "this sucks" and returned to normal shortly thereafter.

"We may have found a cure to this 'GDP trance'". Now we just have to figure out how to apply it before 101st/lynx takes over the entire Warzone community. Unfortunately, we see no easy way to make 101st/lynx suck at this point. They seem too strong and confident to think otherwise."

Masters/Apprentice continue to work diligently, wary of any future packages that may be sent to their front doorstep.

Reporting, Aura Guardian.

Edited 5/13/2018 20:40:55

WE ARE GREAT!

I am so thrilled to be working with great players such as ZBD, Mudderducker and Blowfly. Special thanks to Platinum and ZBD for being the main forces behind this deal. The fact you two are so good pals is what motivated us all to follow this strange, yet brilliant plan.

Hello guys,

I really do appreciate the goodwill of (most) of the community here. From these comments, I can come to a new understanding in my life. I was lost for many months, wandering aimlessly within my mind. But, however selfish it may seem, I really should just be trying to persue what I find enjoyable at the time, and nothing else.

That being said, it seems that I have made a few enemies, and I now hold stronger grudges. I am now more than ever, strongly against the use of alts. I feel they detract from communities and cause stronger communities to siphon off of the weak ones. In my time, I saw FCC progressively encroach on TSK members, and especially by the end of my tenure, many players were either flipping their alts/mains between clans, or just leaving TSK altogether in favor of FCC. I had have enough of it. Although I cannot say FCC effectively killed TSK, I would say it had a good part in accelerating its demise. The reason why FCC has been able to thrive so vibrantly in spite of this game in general being on the decline was because of TSK. Now they will have to find somewhere else to find their players, because TSK likely won't ever be able to provide for them again, considering that the new focus of the clan will be solely community based (and hence not attracting those interested in strategically improving), and nothing else. Indeed, TSK became exactly what I was trying to avoid: A stepping stone, a "Pre" to another clan. We basically became FCCs weeder, and that wasn't what I intended.

FCC poaching players from TSK!!Strange.

We are great.

We are great!

We are gay.

Hello guys,

I really do appreciate the goodwill of (most) of the community here. From these comments, I can come to a new understanding in my life. I was lost for many months, wandering aimlessly within my mind. But, however selfish it may seem, I really should just be trying to persue what I find enjoyable at the time, and nothing else.

That being said, it seems that I have made a few enemies, and I now hold stronger grudges. I am now more than ever, strongly against the use of alts. I feel they detract from communities and cause stronger communities to siphon off of the weak ones. In my time, I saw FCC progressively encroach on TSK members, and especially by the end of my tenure, many players were either flipping their alts/mains between clans, or just leaving TSK altogether in favor of FCC. I had have enough of it. Although I cannot say FCC effectively killed TSK, I would say it had a good part in accelerating its demise. The reason why FCC has been able to thrive so vibrantly in spite of this game in general being on the decline was because of TSK. Now they will have to find somewhere else to find their players, because TSK likely won't ever be able to provide for them again, considering that the new focus of the clan will be solely community based (and hence not attracting those interested in strategically improving), and nothing else. Indeed, TSK became exactly what I was trying to avoid: A stepping stone, a "Pre" to another clan. We basically became FCCs weeder, and that wasn't what I intended.

We are great.

Edit: Oh, and 101st is great too, by the way.

Edited 5/14/2018 00:35:06

We are great.

Finally some good news, just let me make these 2 corrections.

Ofc the best Lynx players join Outlaws and not the other way around. It wouldn't make any sense otherwise.
Besides that and after taking into account the required attitudes of a player (f.ex. fairplay) we're also open for everybody and not only Lynx players to join us, since according to our philosophy we're all equally important in our clan. We don't support a two- or multi-class society.

That being said thanks for asking, we're indeed fine and looking forward to the future cooperation. :)

Edited 5/14/2018 09:23:11

Haha. clan fiction ! Good joke

I'm loving this... next time include more goss about more clans...

This sucks

So what's the difference between Master and Apprentice?

There is a high concentration of Min34s in Apprentice

When is the next issue? I require more clan news from unbiased sources.

Its called clan news weekly for a reason trollie.

I was talking to aura not you zero get outta here :P